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I remember one night we went to the drive-in and somewhere in our making out, her belt broke. No — I never had sex with her. She was too special for me for that. Anyway, I was scared to death what her folks would think when she walked in with that broken belt. Was I some kind of animal that attacked their daughter? But nothing ever was said. I guess they knew I was just an innocent kid and would never hurt her.I can't remember now why we broke up. I think it was pressure from parents and peers, but I guess I'll never know for sure. Maybe it was just that I was an immature ass, but I think it was because I had the pedestal problem and didn't know how to deal with it. There'll be more on the pedestal problem later!At the end of my junior year of high school, my parents moved again. I had to start all over again to make friends. In this endeavor, I finally struck gold. I found my best friend, Ray. To this day I consider him my best friend.What makes a best friend? It is a person you can. That was the first moment that I admitted my arousal even to myself. “I am aroused by a young girl”. This was a sickness, I knew somewhere in the recesses of my mind, an urge that they jailed men for if they were foolish enough to actually act on, though the thought process was fully and completely interrupted by my libido. “I am aroused by a young girl”, the thought crept back. “I am aroused by THIS young girl.” I watched her smoking, and she seemed to be doing that in an increasingly sensual and sexual way, with the certain knowledge that I was responding to it. I couldn’t resist watching. And the fact that she wasn’t speaking to me made me even more excited. And helpless. She had established control while we were still back at our seats, and now she was just expanding it. She knew it. I knew it. And she knew I knew it. She opened her bag again, removed another cigarette, and lit it off the one she was smoking, stubbing the first out on the bark of the tree and tossing.
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